When I came to high school, I didn't have very many friends. I had transferred from a different high school, so most of the faces were new and unfamiliar. In middle school I didn't have very many boyfriends, but I always wanted one. I constantly found myself falling in love, and being rejected. I figured, in a new school, maybe that could change. See Gallery I met Kevin the first week I was there. I had joined the field hockey team to meet more people and get in shape, and I was lugging my gym bag from homeroom to practice. He had been waiting for one of the guys in my homeroom to go to football practice with him. He asked me what my name was, and even offered to carry my bag for me. I had heard about Kevin, a few girls on my team had gone out with him in middle school He looked much older then the rest of us. He seemed mysterious, the "bad boy" kind of guy, something exciting if nothing else. And it was very exciting that he was paying this kind of attention to me. A couple of days later he called my house. He had gotten my number from one of my friends. I couldn't believe he was spending this kind of effort on me. We talked for an hour, and he asked if he could come over that Saturday. I hung up the phone, blushing and excited for my date. At first things were great. Well, sort of. A lot of girls would tell me he was just using me. I knew they were just jealous, but it still hurt to hear them say that. I'd try to just ignore them. When I asked him about it, he'd tell me that guys said stuff like that to him too, "they're just jealous of what we have" he'd say. I figured we were like Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers, who would endure through the end together. Sometimes Kevin wasn't so nice. He was always making jokes, especially in front of other people. But sometimes he took it too far. One day we all went to a friend's house for an early-release from school day. One of the guys had a new pocket knife, and was showing it off. I was talking to this girl I had just met in my English class, when suddenly I felt Kevin holding me very tightly from behind. "Don't move" he whispered in my ear, and when I looked down he was holding the knife to my neck. "Cut it out," I told him, as the girl gasped in surprise. "No," he told me. Everyone told him to let go of me, and finally he did, laughing, and kissing me and telling me to calm down. I hated when he embarrassed me like that. Alone things were better, but he'd started to get really aggressive when we were fooling around. All he ever talked about was when we were going to have sex. He knew I wasn't ready, but he thought eventually I'd give in. He started accusing me of liking other guys, and he'd get mad at me if I didn't call him first before going to a friend's house. I'd get upset, and we'd fight, but I just cared about him so much... Finally I broke up with him. But the next day, seeing him so sad in school, it broke my heart. He asked me for a hug and suddenly, the next thing I knew we were kissing again, and he was holding my hand and walking me to my next class. I kept trying to end things, but he'd write me these love notes, or come over to talk, and suddenly, we'd be back together again. Maybe this is love, I thought, but something told me it wasn't. We started fighting in school. I wasn't afraid to yell back at him when there were people around. But the worse our fights got, the nicer he was afterwards, and I just couldn't tell him goodbye. He'd tell me no one would ever love me the way he did, and I started to believe him. It was scary, the thought of being alone. But then it got worse. One day we were arguing by some lockers, and he started getting angrier and angrier, and he suddenly got this crazy look in his eye. I tried to get away, but he held me there and when I tried to scream, he slapped me across the face. A guidance counselor saw us, and he was suspended. His mother didn't want it to go on his record, so he left the school. It was only then that I was able to break free of his hold.